What you will take away

You’re not alone.

“If you can’t be a good example, you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.” Catherine Aird

This quote has always made me laugh. Now it sums up many aspects of my roller coaster cancer journey. I am enjoying the great outcome both physically and emotionally after many twists and turns in my tale. However I made so many wrong assumptions and caused myself immeasurable, unnecessary grief along the way. I’d like to prevent others from making my mistakes and also share the times I managed to negotiate the tumult of emotions successfully.

I don’t hold back when I share in detail how I managed to push my young adult children away when I so desperately needed support; felt devastated by the reactions of those I thought were friends; and wrongly felt abandoned and unlovable. At times I wondered why I was even fighting to stay alive. It was a huge journey then, to discover in no uncertain terms that I was widely loved, after all.

Depending on your personality and your support network, cancer creates its own emotional journey. No two stories are the same. A lot of my fear, despair, disappointment and heartbreak came from within. Therefore it could ultimately only be relieved from within, despite the outpouring of love and generosity I ultimately received from friends and strangers while travelling.

I truly hope this book will create AHA moments for other unassertive, people-pleasing cancer sufferers. You may even be faking being well. I hope you laugh out loud as I relate how I battle with myself (and fail) not to say and do things I know in my heart aren’t going to lead to a good outcome. Most of all I hope this book makes you feel better about being you, cancer or no cancer.

Life is short and you’re one of a kind. Be good to yourself!